A few billion years ago, in an unfashionable arm of our spiral galaxy, a drama was transpiring . . .

   “Ugh . . . I feel sooo bloated,” said Big Red.
   “I kept telling you not to eat all that hydrogen, but would you listen to me? Nooooooo.”
   “Well, you’re no spring chicken either.”
   “Is that any way to talk to your stellar partner? And I do mean stellar,” Daisy said, tossing back its corona and batting a few dark spots in the other’s direction. “Why did I ever hook up with you anyway?”
   “We were born together, remember?”
   “Oh, yeah . . . I remember. We were nebula sweethearts. You revolved around me as though I were the center of your universe.”
   “Yep, those were good times. Lots of food back then.”
   “What?! Is food all you can think about!?” Daisy exclaimed, slapping Red with a few ionized particles from a solar flare.
   “Well it’s hard,” Red complained plaintively. “Those complex atoms are just sooo tasty.”
   “You know that stuff just sinks straight to your core! And then what? It’ll clog your nuclear pathways and . . .”
   “Bah!” it dismissed dismissively, and expanded a bit around the equator in a self-important gloat. “I’m Big Red. I’ll . . . ohhhhhhh.” Red moaned interruptively, in terrible pain.
   “Huh? What’s wrong?”
   “Feel . . . weak . . . dizzy,” Red said, slowly collapsing. Then, as heavier elements began to fuse together, it’s core stabilized and Red let out a contented sigh of relief: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” :as it’s outer layers begin to expand.
   “I told you, didn’t I? Those fat nuclei are nothing but trouble and . . . hey! Don’t go tossing your lousy outer layers at me!”
   “Sorry hon. I can’t help it. Just needed to kick up the old core a bit more, if you know what I’m saying,” Red said contentedly. “You really ought to try these oxygen and silicon nuclei. They’re . . . ohhhhhhhhhhh.”
   “Look at yourself! Just a few thousand years after that first episode and already you’re having trouble again.”
   “Ohhhhhh . . . no . . . no problem. . . . I’ll just . . .”
   BAM!

Several hundred light years away, one well-to-do main sequencer noticed the flash and scoffed derisively, “Glad I don’t live in that neighborhood.”